8.30.2014

my dad

 ... is a dick. When I say that I mean it in the worst way possible. I wish I could blame his recent behavior on the Type 2 diabetes he's got, but he's managing it through medicine and a strict diet. I learned from my sister that he accused my mother of having an affair with the Mexican handyman whom she hired to replace the kitchen sink/faucet. She's not, nor has she ever btw. This isn't the first time either. He made the same accusation years ago when she was helping out a nephew who once had a crush on her. He was six when he had said crush, and she is his godmother. Mom, to her credit, has not bothered to tell me about what's transpired since I left.

There is something seriously wrong with my father's thought making paradigm. I picked up on it when I was there a few months ago. He wouldn't go to his scheduled medical exams and would postpone or just  reschedule only to cancel in the end. Instead, he'd sit there and watch his kung fu soap operas endlessly. He even got angry at me once when I asked him why he canceled an appointment, and then started prattling on about where the money would come from to treat him if something was wrong. This was around the same time that my mother had her breast lump scare where he consoled her by saying if she died she'd have nothing to worry about. I've often told my mother to leave him and just move on. She didn't and won't.

I prefer to keep things in a positive light but I can only take so much before I need to unload. I tried to help to the best of my ability during my stay with them, but they're fucking crazy. This goes way beyond my ability or desire to even want to understand why people choose to live their lives in such a shitty way. For a (short) time I felt kind of crappy that my family wouldn't ever make it out to visit me, now I'm glad.

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