5.25.2015

desperation and inspiration

One of the kids in my area is now under a "Quality of Life" watch. Kenny arrived about for months ago from a partner shelter that was unable to provide all the medical care he required. Kenny has spondylosis which is an incurable spinal condition. It mainly affects older dogs. He arrived with a wheelchair which was taken away immediately. The vets explained that the less he used his legs the further the condition would progress. Kenny started receiving various forms of treatment (i.e. warm laser therapy, acupuncture, hydrotherapy) as well has medicines and supplements to help him out. He was able to still walk despite being a bit wobbly on his back legs. Everything we were doing seemed to help him so far as he was not getting any worse. That was until about a few weeks ago. Kenny had three things happen at around the same time. First was his runmate getting adopted out, second was the start of hydrotherapy, and the third was being weaned off of hydrocodone to treat his lick granulomas. We're not sure if it was one or all but he started losing the mobility of his back legs and was visibly depressed. Kenny had a second QOL appointment schedule for this coming Thursday where we (the caregivers) would meet with the vet and discuss options. Unfortunately Kenny's deteriorating faster than any of us expected and his appointment was bumped up to today. I went into work today expecting to hear the worst, and unfortunately was not let down. So we're gonna put him on NSAIDS for at least a week and see if that doesn't help him before we make a decision to put him down. The vet was pretty clear that his issue isn't pain though. His only hope is this or that someone who has the time and resources to care for him around the clock adopts him before we have to decide. We can't provide around the clock care for him at the sanctuary as much as we'd love to be able to. Here's praying for a miracle and someone adopts him!


Something else that was unexpected happened at work. Well, technically it's happened a lot since I started working there. It's happened enough, and again this last week, to where I figured it might be worth a mention. In the course of my job I get to work with many volunteers. This is in the job description but not all the caregivers are good at it. I've always been a people person, in addition to being an animal person. Hence why I was identified as a good fit and was hired for this position.  In the course of my job I get to speak with and share stories with volunteers. Many have told me past an present that they find my story "inspiring" which is something of a surprise to me. I mean if I think about it I can see what they mean, but from my perspective I only changed things to make my life better. More enjoyable. Do something that I can feel good about myself at the end of the day. And by no means am I perfect or the best at what I'm doing. I've made so many mistakes since starting out. Luckily nothing that negatively impacted the lives of those in my care.


I don't know if this is true or not. I didn't come here looking for it either. A coworker here told me that heaven holds a special place for those who take it upon themselves to care for animals. This is a kind of redemption I've never felt worth of based on how I've led my life so far. However, I didn't come here for the sole purpose of redemption so much as I felt it the right thing to do after deciding it was time to part ways with corporate America. Whatever the actual truth is, I'm humbled and awed by what I've experienced here.

5.17.2015

it's complicated

Actually it's not. In less than a week I've managed to turn into a complete idiot around this girl. I'm avoiding explaining the details of what I'd done in order to not relive it. Now to her credit she's told me that "you're fine" which I am taking at face value despite what I'm feeling. In short I am feeling horrifically more awkward with each stupid mistake I make. I know it's been a long time since I dated and I should give myself some time. However the lapse has made me realize that I'm not at all good at dating now nor then. At this point I wonder if I've made a mistake or not. Yes I know it was just "one" date. That one date simply underscores what I'm lamenting about. 

My friend says I should give myself a few days to cool off and not think about it. I'm taking her advice and decompressing, but not before sharing it with the world first. 

5.12.2015

the leap

So I finally made up my mind and asked someone out. I'm very happy with where I am in life but I came to the conclusion that I really miss having someone to share it with. Even if only for a short time. It's been over a decade since the last one and I was a little nervous about it. Things went well and my nervousness subsided quickly. She had a lot to do with that. I hope, moving forward, that that will be a mutual and continuing thing.

Incidentally, today is my one year anniversary here. Bridgette and I arrived late in the evening on the 11th. We're celebrating tonight since I had to work.