white noise

Where do you send things to, when your heart ain't got no room? - Lauren O'Connell

So after all was said and done you might have thought this family stabilized and on the road to getting better. You'd be wrong. Things are as dysfunctional as ever and this is the status quo. Anyone whose put enough time between themselves and unhealthy situations can relate. I'm disappointed, disillusioned, disheartened, and simply done. I won't bore you guys with any more details about this family unless (swine achieve flight) things actually improved. Until then, this part of my narrative is over. I've got nothing left to give and have begun to regret my decision in returning home.

Today I called my aunt to give her an update. Yes the same aunt who whips my dad back into line. Funny thing about her is she's not like that at all. She happens to be one of the most centered people I have in my life. In my youth I possessed all the rage and unpredictability of my parents combined. Through mistakes and experience I managed to learn and overcome. My aunt never judged and never ever once made me feel bad or guilty for my mistakes in life. She only tried to help me understand where I went wrong. The lessons often took years for me to realize, but I learned them.

OK. So I thought I was finished unloading details about the dysfunctional family but that's not the case. As I was typing this out tonight my sister texted me a second time to chastise me (again) for using an idiom with my nephew the night prior. She did it once in the morning and I didn't feel the offense was quite near as bad as she made out. It really wasn't. It was when she did it again tonight because the father (who is no longer a daily part of his own son's life) felt it was wrong. It was an idiom! Wanna know what it was. After we played fetch with a tennis ball and the dogs, we went to wash his little hands. I referred to them as "bad boys" in the context of "let's wash these bad boys". Her reason was is that they don't want to refer to any body parts as good or bad. OK, fair enough but I was never informed of this decision before. Now I know I have a potty mouth, and it takes all I've got to not swear in front of the little guy. Anyone who knows me knows that that's an accomplishment in of itself when I don't. I'm proud to say that, to date, I've avoided any bad language around him. So back to the "bad boys" idiom. So what would happen if he heard it from someone they couldn't chastise? OMFG, how would they deal with it then?!? Before I go on any further allow me to underscore how unfair this is in the context of what also took place that night. The little guy also began repeating a word he heard my mother use when she addressed my father directly. This is a phonetic representation, but the word was "pan-chuy". The word in English means nothing. In an unknown dialect of Chinese it means penis or dick. This is mom's pet name for dad. His pet name for her is the Chinese (unknown dialect) word for vagina. The kid only started repeating DICK in Chinese last night for whatever reason. He didn't bring it up with mommy and daddy today because he can't relate since it's a different language. I made sure mommy was made aware of this since she saw fit to pursue me a second time. It's yet another reason why I'm so indignant about all of this. So to be sure I'm not losing my mind, I did what any sane person would. I asked friends of mine who are parents. Most of them thought, scratch most, all thought it was overkill and ridiculous. It's easy enough to write off new inexperienced parents, but they thought it was stupid. What about the ones who have remained intact as families and have more than two kids. They also agreed, overkill. By the way, thank each and every one of you for letting me know I wasn't in the wrong. 

I made the mistake of relaying this injustice to my dad. He decided to explode in anger saying I should know (at a very high volume) that everyone is different and should never repeat an idiom to a child. At that second I know he didn't have the foggiest idea of what the definition of an idiom is. I said to him "say it louder again dad, if you're louder that means you're that much more right". He shouted louder again. I egged him on with a sarcastic "oh that made it crystal clear dad. you are right!". Yes, the idiom contained in the final reply was completely lost on him only confirming that he doesn't understand. I am done.

This is what I get for coming to help my family. Never again. 

Original comic


we can work it out

So the other day sis and I finally got a chance to catch up and straighten things out. Skipping the details we figured out that it was my mother's insatiable need to meddle in affairs that are not of her concern. She was doing to her what she had tried with me not more than a month prior. We dealt with this as we always do, by both letting her know she crossed a boundary that was not hers to cross. This doesn't end it, but usually stops her for a couple of months. It gives us a break to deal with the real issues at hand. Well, my break will last longer with my upcoming departure.

I had a talk with one of my aunt's on dad's side of the family. When things are at their worst he has a tendency to ignore our pleas and his sister has a way of getting through to him. This usually occurs after she gets an update on what's really going on instead of what he tells her.

Today during breakfast I made mom spit out a mouthful of coffee all over the kitchen floor. She did her best to hold it in but wound up losing it. I was explaining to her why the littlest (again) member of the family would run out into the backyard to bark at whatever she'd heard. They don't take her out for walks enough and she has a limited world in which she lives. Oreo spends most of her time living within the boundaries of the kitchen and backyard. It's enough room for a dog her size, but you tend to kind of lose your mind over time when there's little to no interaction with the outside world. Then when I said "kind of like how dad chooses to live in a limited space doing the same thing day in day out and exploding in anger at nothing randomly" which is when she took a mouthful of coffee. It was all of about 10 seconds when she quickly turned her head as the weight of my words dawned on her and sploosh! Oreo discovered today that she really loves coffee.


everybody eats when they come to my house

Over the last week I had the good fortune to finally pickup a Santoku knife. I meant to get one sooner, but could never find a decent one at a price I was willing to pay. This week Macy's had a sale on a mid line J.A. Henckels one, so I scooped it up for half the normal cost. I also own one of their chefs knives and it's been a staple in my kitchen. My first time using one was at my sisters house last year. I immediately fell in love with how much easier it was to use compared to my chefs knife.

So about four years ago my sister had sent me a gift card for Cost Plus World Market. I moved shortly after receiving it and was in a moving box where it remained until I did that major cleaning in 2010. I didn't think there were any in San Antonio and never bothered to look. It was packed away again and didn't see the light of day again until last month. I found it and gave it to mom to buy something for herself. We both went and she found herself a real nice casserole dish with lid. I also wound up finding something for myself and the trailer. I picked up a stainless steel Karahi, which is essentially the Indian version of a wok. The difference between this and a Chinese wok is the pan is a bit narrower at the top making it deeper overall. It also doubles as a serving dish. A happy accident resulted in that the lid to a stainless steel fry pan I once owned (it died falling out of a moving box and was bent beyond repair) fits perfectly.

A lot more varied ethnic/international markets had opened up while I was living away. I'm taking advantage by restocking (at hugely discounted prices) the rarer spices and assorted dried goods that are almost impossible to come by at regular supermarkets and/or small town markets. There are some things I can find at a supermarket, but usually at much higher costs. For example Garam Masala spice sells at $6-8 for a standard sized spice bottle of it. I paid $2 for a bottle twice the size. Basmati rice normally runs around $5 for a 1 pound bag, I paid half that for a three pound bag. I love Indian food and know it's gonna be impossible to come by where I'm going so this will lessen the blow. Hawaiian food is another favorite where I can generally find most of what I need anywhere, but there are a few things. Sushi rice can sometimes be found at supermarkets, however Furikake is a bit harder to come by. I use them to make Spam Musubi. It's super easy to make and keeps well. I sometimes stash one or two in my map bag while hiking.

I've just about got a nice little international kitchen ready to roll.

Everybody Eats When They Come To My House by Cab Calloway & His Orchestral on Grooveshark