it's reciprocal

So I've obviously had more than a few days to cool off and decompress since "the incident". Composure regained and dignity has been salvaged. Well, what little of it I have left. There was a brief pause that lasted a few weeks. For now, we're becoming better acquainted with each other. I'm grateful for that regardless of where it goes.


a break

As much as anyone loves doing anything in life, you have to take a break. I hadn't. At least not since January. I was so involved in learning how to deal with some of the kids in my area that I'd forgotten to make some time for myself. I tried at any rate. I was supposed to have last Tuesday off, but instead it was yesterday. Tuesday was also my birthday which almost quietly passed unnoticed. I say almost because someone at work found out and I received a Dogtown round of radio birthday wishes in the afternoon. Not that I have a thing against birthday wishes. I do like them. I prefer having the day off to avoid some of the fuss that people make. I think I feel almost like I don't deserve it. Hmmmm. I'll have to explore that one later on. So I was turning 49 and really wasn't sure how I felt about it. I mean was it something I should accept gracefully or freak out about. Or was I supposed to buy a sports car or something? Now that I've had some time to decompress and process it, I came to the conclusion that I feel nothing about it. I don't care. Why? Not really sure but I think it might have to do with all the recent life changes I've made. At any rate. I'm here! I'm old'ish! Get used to it!

One other thing worth mentioning about the bday is a gift sissy got me. A six quart temperature and timer controlled crock pot. I'm excited about it! Now I can have dinner ready and waiting for me instead of having to make it when I get home. Or spend money eating out. And at six quarts I'll have a few days of leftovers to finish. My most recent pastime is digging out old recipes and scouring the net for new ones.

A quick update on Kenny. We had a potential foster lined up which fell through after they slept on it. Right before that happened a potential adopter expressed interest in him and it's been positive movement so far. This came about through a volunteer. She had spent a lot of time with him and even took him on sleepovers. She posted about her experience with him on facebook. A woman who runs a site for crippled dogs read it, contacted the volunteer, and asked if she could do a write up on Kenny for her site. The volunteer said yes. The crippled dog site woman wrote it up. The potential adopter read the story, fell in love with Kenny, and contacted the sanctuary about adopting him. The adoption is currently in progress so I'll refrain from saying any more so as to not jinx this for Kenny.


desperation and inspiration

One of the kids in my area is now under a "Quality of Life" watch. Kenny arrived about for months ago from a partner shelter that was unable to provide all the medical care he required. Kenny has spondylosis which is an incurable spinal condition. It mainly affects older dogs. He arrived with a wheelchair which was taken away immediately. The vets explained that the less he used his legs the further the condition would progress. Kenny started receiving various forms of treatment (i.e. warm laser therapy, acupuncture, hydrotherapy) as well has medicines and supplements to help him out. He was able to still walk despite being a bit wobbly on his back legs. Everything we were doing seemed to help him so far as he was not getting any worse. That was until about a few weeks ago. Kenny had three things happen at around the same time. First was his runmate getting adopted out, second was the start of hydrotherapy, and the third was being weaned off of hydrocodone to treat his lick granulomas. We're not sure if it was one or all but he started losing the mobility of his back legs and was visibly depressed. Kenny had a second QOL appointment schedule for this coming Thursday where we (the caregivers) would meet with the vet and discuss options. Unfortunately Kenny's deteriorating faster than any of us expected and his appointment was bumped up to today. I went into work today expecting to hear the worst, and unfortunately was not let down. So we're gonna put him on NSAIDS for at least a week and see if that doesn't help him before we make a decision to put him down. The vet was pretty clear that his issue isn't pain though. His only hope is this or that someone who has the time and resources to care for him around the clock adopts him before we have to decide. We can't provide around the clock care for him at the sanctuary as much as we'd love to be able to. Here's praying for a miracle and someone adopts him!

Something else that was unexpected happened at work. Well, technically it's happened a lot since I started working there. It's happened enough, and again this last week, to where I figured it might be worth a mention. In the course of my job I get to work with many volunteers. This is in the job description but not all the caregivers are good at it. I've always been a people person, in addition to being an animal person. Hence why I was identified as a good fit and was hired for this position.  In the course of my job I get to speak with and share stories with volunteers. Many have told me past an present that they find my story "inspiring" which is something of a surprise to me. I mean if I think about it I can see what they mean, but from my perspective I only changed things to make my life better. More enjoyable. Do something that I can feel good about myself at the end of the day. And by no means am I perfect or the best at what I'm doing. I've made so many mistakes since starting out. Luckily nothing that negatively impacted the lives of those in my care.

I don't know if this is true or not. I didn't come here looking for it either. A coworker here told me that heaven holds a special place for those who take it upon themselves to care for animals. This is a kind of redemption I've never felt worthy of based on how I've led my life so far. However, I didn't come here for the sole purpose of redemption so much as I felt it the right thing to do after deciding it was time to part ways with corporate America. Whatever the actual truth is, I'm humbled and awed by what I've experienced here.