so this is christmas

Things did not work out with Moses. We were into the third'ish week of my foster to adopt when things took a turn for the bad and things went downhill in the span of three days. The short version is that Moses did something inside my trailer that freaked him out when I wasn't more than ten paces away from it. He was so unnerved by being in there that he took to destroying things. I caught him in time, but was unable to leave him uncrated inside. Even while in the crate he took to destroying the blankets and cushions I provided him. This was no longer working and I was really bummed with the outcome given how well things had started out.

Earlier in the month I had scheduled a mid month appointment to get Bridgette's rear right leg looked at. She developed a random wiggle of the leg during our walks. In between while she was cuddling with me as I read, I discovered a hard lump just to the left of the base of her tail. Great, another thing we'll need to get looked at at the appointment. They aspirated, looked at it under the scope, determined they needed more testing, and sent it off to the lab. I had to wait a little over two weeks to get the results. As you might imagine I was very worried about her, and was preparing myself for the worst possible outcome, but was glad that the results came back as benign. B has a biopsy scheduled later next month where I've taken a few days off to be at the beck and call of my little one.

B and I had a quiet but Happy Xmas together. Outside of that I've decided to spare you the details of just how bad this last month has been for us, but am happy that it's not been worse. The weather here has been bone chillingly cold making things rather interesting in the trailer. This is my first winter in the new rig so I'm sort of facing a learning curve for the second time. We've overcome the challenges pretty well, but definitely need a second slightly larger space heater.

I hope your Xmas was a good one and that you have a Happy New Year.


R.I.P. Pips

About three days ago Moses got to her before I'd had a chance to train him. He played with her like she was a toy and the worst happened to her. Moses isn't to blame and I'm not giving up on him because of this. It was my fault as I'd forgotten to place her cage into the bathroom before stepping away. I returned from the store and found her little body on the floor in a soggy heap. I'm feeling fifty kinds of shitty about what took place and learned a very hard lesson. One which I wish hadn't ever learned. She was sweet, a little shy, but very affectionate once she knew you. I always looked forward to having her on my shoulder when I took Bridgette out for her potty walks. I miss her badly and am so so sorry she had to pass that way.

R.I.P. Pips



I think I've recovered rather nicely since my last post. You ready? Here we go.

Here's where I'm at with the German Shepherd. His name was Uber by the way. After a mostly ok intro with Bridgette and two plus weeks of parallel walks, he was completely OK with her. He never fully relaxed in that time. Something I never knew before was that GSD's don't do well in shelters. This is because they're very devoted to their families and are devastated when they wind up in one. This was hard being a witness to given my love for the breed and was not aware of. Last weekend I brought him home on a sleepover, and he relaxed completely. Ok, it was an outing into a sleepover into a morning outing. He did great and despite being a little scared of a few things when he first arrived, he relaxed a lot on the second day. His second sleepover went even better and he was far more relaxed than the first time, but he did not like going back to the sanctuary the second time. Don't fret as that was his last sleepover. Our third excursion away from the sanctuary is the final one. He only goes back there now during the days when I'm working, but comes home with me. We're on a 30 day adopt to foster just in case something goes wrong with him and B which I'm not worried about. He looks to her for confidence and she's been a great role model for him. At least when she's not freaking out and peeing on our bed in fear. So, here are a few recent pics ...

Getting to know you

The first ride home

Our first night together

I already love this place

Jr beagle in training

Warm and comfy on our 2nd sleepover
So after much deliberation I finally locked in his name. The first named I picked was Ash after my favorite unreluctant hero from the Evil Dead movies. As I got to know him better this name did not suit him. In a fit of frustration I almost named him Goober since it rhymed with Uber. I finally named him Moses. I was struggling with a proper name for the guy but in a convo with sissy ... well she reminded me of something I began over a decade ago. In our convo she asked me what our grandfather's name was. In that instant everything came into focus. You see, I named Bridgette after my grandmother Brigida (I'll explain why another time). My gramp's name was Moises which translates into Moses. This was too perfect to resist so I went for it. I did test him and he responded to the name with him. A bit of clicker training will easily reinforce it. That all being said, I've increased my family by one, A big one. 

Me and the coworker/friend are back on good terms with each other. To be perfectly honest, my assumptions were my own fault. After I was ok enough to talk to her, I came to learn she was the reason why her parents backed out of the GSD adoption. I apologized as well as hugging her a lot. We're good!

There's a lot more but I'm beat and need to get some sleep. I'll follow up tomorrow night with everything else that's transpired. 

In the meantime ... Happy Thanksgiving!



Too hard this time I think. I'm in an odd place at the moment with the reason why being that I'm feeling both loved and battered by the universe. This past week has been filled with some highs and lows. It started with a trip to Page, AZ where on the way a semi kicked up a rock which struck and left a nice crack in my windshield. Luckily I have a low deductible, but I'm still out $100 to replace it. Low.

After more than a year and a half a German Shepherd dog arrived at the sanctuary which (so far) seems to be just what I've been looking in age/health/temperament to adopt. High. The following morning I spoke with a coworker/friend about visiting with the GSD who also happens to know that I've been looking since I started working there. New arrivals have a 24hr cooling down period after arriving to give them a chance to acclimate. The initial separation from their families can be traumatic. I was telling the c/f about how I was looking forward to meeting the GSD later that day and arranging an intro with B if he turned out as good in temperament as I was hoping for. At the time the c/f only indicated that they had already met and nothing else. I learned at lunch that day that the c/f had already informed their family who emailed the department and secured themselves a first in line position to adopt him. LOW! I futilely put in an adoption application for him. Meh. I arrived for my scheduled visit with him, and he was visibly upset and confused. Despite that he was poised, alert, and very calm. I brought some treats which he took very gently from me. Once he felt comfortable with me he began communicating with me. He had walked to the door and looked at me then the door and back. He wanted out. I asked him and he reacted in a positive way to indicate yes. He wanted to go thru the door that lead back into the building rather than out the back door because this was the way he was brought into this place. Our meeting went better than I expected. High. He was already spoken for pending a cat test. He passed it. Low. I gave up and did not return to visit him again. No sense in learning more about what I'll be missing.

A new friend/coworker had finally arrived/moved into town and we were meeting for lunch on my last workweek day. High. Unfortunately that same morning one of our senior kids had passed very quickly and suddenly. LOW!. I canceled on our lunch plans being that I wasn't feeling like I'd be good company. Low. By the time lunch arrived I was feeling a bit better having regained my composure. My friend came to see me at lunch anyway. High! They also treated me to dinner and a drink later that evening. High.

When I got home from work that day I noticed that I had received a few emails from my Mgr and the lead adoption coordinator from that afternoon. Turns out the GSD had failed his dog test and the first adopter had backed out because of. Cautious High! At this point I have lots of questions. Some which were answered via email, but I still have many more to ask. I wasn't aware the GSD had to also pass a dog test. I'm wondering if my c/f had something to do with the family members backing out because of the failed dog test or at the c/f's request? I haven't spoken to the c/f because, to put it frankly, I was furiously hurt and upset beyond reason. I felt betrayed. Be it true or false I haven't cleared this up with them yet because I really needed to decompress and temporarily forget everything on my weekend off. What I need and what I'm doing here isn't lost on me either. I proudly own my crazy.


so where were we?

One quick correction. In my last post I had said my remaining parent. By that I didn't mean to insinuate that one was deceased. Both parents are alive and well. I only meant the one I was maintaining a relationship with. The relationship with both is estranged for now.

This past Summer was full of visits from friends and family. A childhood friend and his oldest son made a trip up this way. It was a high school graduation celebration run from AZ up to UT on motocross bikes. Due to weather conditions at the time they were only going to stay a single night, but alternative arrangements were able to be made. They stayed and explored all this gorgeous area has to offer for another couple of days before heading home. There was also the devouring of a delicious tater tot casserole somewhere in there.

On the heels of my friend and his son's departure ... my mother and aunt arrived. Well sort of. I had to drive to Vegas to pick them up which is a three hour drive away. The trip served to remind me how much I hate big cities, but also underscored my need for them. Vegas has an Asian market where I was able to load up on hard to get goodies a small town doesn't have. Mom brought me a care package consisting of some new and old cookware along with queen sized bed sheets and other sundries. I could tell mom was happy for me in my new life, but sensed her reservations. There are two times in life where I felt her pride for me. The first was when I'd started a new job where I earned more than her or my father, the second was when I paid off all my debt. This kind of made the visit bittersweet for me. 

I always get a little stressed out when my mother is around. Luckily my aunt ran a lot of interference making the four day stay of theirs pleasant. I took them to see the sanctuary where I work as well as Zion and the north rim of the Grand Canyon. We managed to get out and eat twice but the Peruvian in them took over so there were plenty of home cooked meals. My aunt lost her husband to cancer earlier this year so it was great to see her getting out and doing things. She could tell I was truly happy with all the changes I'd made in my life and was really proud of me. 

About two months later a new friend who comes out to visit and volunteer at the sanctuary was out here for almost two weeks. She's a feisty tiny lady who hauls a 25 foot travel trailer out in a ginormous truck. She really cares for and loves all the dogs she gets to spend time with. Her departure date also coincided with the arrival of family.

My sissy, nephew, and her beau (whom I met for the first time) arrived for their visit. There was no sightseeing this time outside of visiting the sanctuary, this was all family time. We spent most of the time in town together relaxing, hanging out, and eating really well. The visit was too short but we made the most of the time and had a blast! Sissy loved the area so much that she's already begun plotting a longer return, but in a rental RV. I'm looking forward to this!

I was sad to see them go, as was Bridgette. She was over the moon with excitement at all the family/friend visits we'd had. There was one more visit. New friends again whom I'd first met last year. Bill and Kelly. They come out every year for roughly almost two weeks with all kinds of accumulated goods to donate in addition to all the volunteer time they put in while here. They're not rich and earn a modest income, but their resourcefulness is limitless. I'm glad that the sanctuary recognized all they do in kind and elevated their donor status. This allowed them to enjoy a few nice perks while here. I also can't thank them enough for feeding me during their time here. Kelly cooks old school and never makes a meal for just two people. 

I should also mention that I've finally increased my family by one. It was on a resupply trip to St George between my sisters visit and arrival of Bill & Kelly. I named her Pips, short for pipsqueak. The picture was taken the day I got her, and she's a little bit bigger now. I'm impressed with how well socialized she was as most stores don't bother with any handling save boxing them up when purchased. She's very sweet and affectionate. I'm using a rubbermaid storage container for her home while I decide on building or buying. The last time I owned a rat was well over 40 years ago, and I'm happy that the internet has brought me up to speed in it's typical lightning fashion. This little girl is not missing out on anything because of all the different types of enrichment's I've given her. 

Bridgette was a little unsure at first but has come to accept her as a very little sister. She's learned how to be gentle with her and the two of them usually sleep together on the couch after dinner. I didn't leave B out when it came to enrichment's either. I purchased three food puzzles which she absolutely loves to play with.

Despite all the good grub I've been eating I did make a major change to my diet. Partially out of curiosity to see if the health benefits happen as quick as I'd read about, but also because it saves me money. I switched to a diet of primarily rice and beans. I'm into the third month of this new diet and the main challenge has been in keeping it interesting. Being creative in the kitchen is something I love so it's been a lot of fun. The speed at which things changed was immediately noticeable. My energy levels shot up which has been a huge help at work, but first thing I noticed was my resting pulse rate improved. The old average was in the mid to high 80s but is now in the low 70's.  And it's still dropping. I'm hoping to get it into the 60's by the time winter is underway. 

There's still more to tell but this is a good partial overview of what's been happening since last June. More to come ...


still at it

I've not yet come up with the new name for the next blog, but I've decided I'm going to stay with blogger. I, instead, will keep posting until a new name hits me and transition over to the new blog when that happens. There have been many changes in my life, both personal and professional over the last few months. I hate keeping everyone whose stayed with me this long in the dark so I'll be catching you up on what's what in my life.

Work has been great but it's review time. Here's hoping I didn't do as badly as I felt I did and managed to garner a raise along with some positive recognition. I've been clued in that there will be some changes coming but I'm not sure what that means exactly. More to follow when I know.

The relationship front came to a horrific and screeching halt for me as you may recall. Things have improved in that I've relaxed from pursuing anything on purpose and simply letting life take its course. I'm not sure where things are going here but I can say that life has been kind and generous with me. I'm grateful.

I had a recent incident involving my remaining parent which I was keeping in touch with. Sadly, I think it's time to end that link as well. It's a heartbreaking epiphany when you've matured beyond your parent's capacity to rise above pettiness and dishonesty.

You know it's not my style to end on a negative note. Over the last three weekends I've hiked. It's not that I haven't before, but this has been a bit more structured. The first weekend I hiked the Zion trails of Angel's Landing (dangerous), Emerald Pools, and The Riverwalk. I had clocked in 13 miles at the end of the day. The following took place in Bryce where I did the Bryce Point & PeekABoo trail where I came in at 7 miles. Today I hiked the only dog friendly trail in Zion which came in at 3.3 miles. Bridgette absolutely loved (deserved) the chance to commune with nature. I was so happy to be able to make that happen for her. She's almost 11 now and still basically a puppy at heart. Who knows how long I actually have with her but I'm doing my best to give her the best still. She deserves it.

More to follow ...


the reports of my death are greatly exaggerated

This is not the final post. I'm still here, and still plugging away. My time has been dominated by work and personal engagements. What little free time I have is spent decompressing via my various pastimes. I am still researching wordpress versus blogger, but I'm nowhere near making a decision. Well, that I have yet to come up with a name for the new blog still. I have enlisted some help from a coworker who's also a blogger as well as a writer. Hi Katie! I digress.

I'm shooting for a launch date of mid to late September. I know. I really need to get off my ass and get this going as I've got about four months of material to catch you guys up on. I'll get there!


almost terminus

It's been a while. I've had a lot happen since my last post. I'll start off with the girl is no more. What started off nicely turned into a drawn out version of the last twenty minutes of the movie Braveheart. I finally realized that she only brought out the worst in me as well as her having no redeeming qualities. Nothing good would come of this had I tried to maintain anything with her. I did the only logical thing left. I asked that she never speak to me again. Unfortunately she said "would try". This was unacceptable so I went the length of blocking her from being able to call or text me. It's times like this where I'm truly grateful for modern technology. Good riddance!

Not everything between posts has been bad. I've been visited by friends and family in that time. It was a real treat for me to get to show them around this gorgeous area and around the sanctuary where I work at. Matter of fact, even more family is due to visit me in the coming week. I've got a ton of pictures and writing to do, but will be holding off just a little bit longer.

With all the changes that've taken place in my life this past year I felt it was now the blog's turn. I'm currently deciding on whether to try out wordpress or remain with blogger. I'm not really interested in customization so much as good reliable functionality. And I also need to come up with a new name. I'm open to suggestions if anyone has any. I'm looking for something a touch less specific than the current one I have. It has to pertain to me but in a more generalized sense. Once I've got all the ducks in a row my final post here will have a link leading to the new blog.


it's reciprocal

So I've obviously had more than a few days to cool off and decompress since "the incident". Composure regained and dignity has been salvaged. Well, what little of it I have left. There was a brief pause that lasted a few weeks. For now, we're becoming better acquainted with each other. I'm grateful for that regardless of where it goes.


a break

As much as anyone loves doing anything in life, you have to take a break. I hadn't. At least not since January. I was so involved in learning how to deal with some of the kids in my area that I'd forgotten to make some time for myself. I tried at any rate. I was supposed to have last Tuesday off, but instead it was yesterday. Tuesday was also my birthday which almost quietly passed unnoticed. I say almost because someone at work found out and I received a Dogtown round of radio birthday wishes in the afternoon. Not that I have a thing against birthday wishes. I do like them. I prefer having the day off to avoid some of the fuss that people make. I think I feel almost like I don't deserve it. Hmmmm. I'll have to explore that one later on. So I was turning 49 and really wasn't sure how I felt about it. I mean was it something I should accept gracefully or freak out about. Or was I supposed to buy a sports car or something? Now that I've had some time to decompress and process it, I came to the conclusion that I feel nothing about it. I don't care. Why? Not really sure but I think it might have to do with all the recent life changes I've made. At any rate. I'm here! I'm old'ish! Get used to it!

One other thing worth mentioning about the bday is a gift sissy got me. A six quart temperature and timer controlled crock pot. I'm excited about it! Now I can have dinner ready and waiting for me instead of having to make it when I get home. Or spend money eating out. And at six quarts I'll have a few days of leftovers to finish. My most recent pastime is digging out old recipes and scouring the net for new ones.

A quick update on Kenny. We had a potential foster lined up which fell through after they slept on it. Right before that happened a potential adopter expressed interest in him and it's been positive movement so far. This came about through a volunteer. She had spent a lot of time with him and even took him on sleepovers. She posted about her experience with him on facebook. A woman who runs a site for crippled dogs read it, contacted the volunteer, and asked if she could do a write up on Kenny for her site. The volunteer said yes. The crippled dog site woman wrote it up. The potential adopter read the story, fell in love with Kenny, and contacted the sanctuary about adopting him. The adoption is currently in progress so I'll refrain from saying any more so as to not jinx this for Kenny.


desperation and inspiration

One of the kids in my area is now under a "Quality of Life" watch. Kenny arrived about for months ago from a partner shelter that was unable to provide all the medical care he required. Kenny has spondylosis which is an incurable spinal condition. It mainly affects older dogs. He arrived with a wheelchair which was taken away immediately. The vets explained that the less he used his legs the further the condition would progress. Kenny started receiving various forms of treatment (i.e. warm laser therapy, acupuncture, hydrotherapy) as well has medicines and supplements to help him out. He was able to still walk despite being a bit wobbly on his back legs. Everything we were doing seemed to help him so far as he was not getting any worse. That was until about a few weeks ago. Kenny had three things happen at around the same time. First was his runmate getting adopted out, second was the start of hydrotherapy, and the third was being weaned off of hydrocodone to treat his lick granulomas. We're not sure if it was one or all but he started losing the mobility of his back legs and was visibly depressed. Kenny had a second QOL appointment schedule for this coming Thursday where we (the caregivers) would meet with the vet and discuss options. Unfortunately Kenny's deteriorating faster than any of us expected and his appointment was bumped up to today. I went into work today expecting to hear the worst, and unfortunately was not let down. So we're gonna put him on NSAIDS for at least a week and see if that doesn't help him before we make a decision to put him down. The vet was pretty clear that his issue isn't pain though. His only hope is this or that someone who has the time and resources to care for him around the clock adopts him before we have to decide. We can't provide around the clock care for him at the sanctuary as much as we'd love to be able to. Here's praying for a miracle and someone adopts him!

Something else that was unexpected happened at work. Well, technically it's happened a lot since I started working there. It's happened enough, and again this last week, to where I figured it might be worth a mention. In the course of my job I get to work with many volunteers. This is in the job description but not all the caregivers are good at it. I've always been a people person, in addition to being an animal person. Hence why I was identified as a good fit and was hired for this position.  In the course of my job I get to speak with and share stories with volunteers. Many have told me past an present that they find my story "inspiring" which is something of a surprise to me. I mean if I think about it I can see what they mean, but from my perspective I only changed things to make my life better. More enjoyable. Do something that I can feel good about myself at the end of the day. And by no means am I perfect or the best at what I'm doing. I've made so many mistakes since starting out. Luckily nothing that negatively impacted the lives of those in my care.

I don't know if this is true or not. I didn't come here looking for it either. A coworker here told me that heaven holds a special place for those who take it upon themselves to care for animals. This is a kind of redemption I've never felt worthy of based on how I've led my life so far. However, I didn't come here for the sole purpose of redemption so much as I felt it the right thing to do after deciding it was time to part ways with corporate America. Whatever the actual truth is, I'm humbled and awed by what I've experienced here.


it's complicated

Actually it's not. In less than a week I've managed to turn into a complete idiot around this girl. I'm avoiding explaining the details of what I'd done in order to not relive it. Now to her credit she's told me that "you're fine" which I am taking at face value despite what I'm feeling. In short I am feeling horrifically more awkward with each stupid mistake I make. I know it's been a long time since I dated and I should give myself some time. However the lapse has made me realize that I'm not at all good at dating now nor then. At this point I wonder if I've made a mistake or not. Yes I know it was just "one" date. That one date simply underscores what I'm lamenting about. 

My friend says I should give myself a few days to cool off and not think about it. I'm taking her advice and decompressing, but not before sharing it with the world first. 


the leap

So I finally made up my mind and asked someone out. I'm very happy with where I am in life but I came to the conclusion that I really miss having someone to share it with. Even if only for a short time. It's been over a decade since the last one and I was a little nervous about it. Things went well and my nervousness subsided quickly. She had a lot to do with that. I hope, moving forward, that that will be a mutual and continuing thing.

Incidentally, today is my one year anniversary here. Bridgette and I arrived late in the evening on the 11th. We're celebrating tonight since I had to work.


bake all the things

Just in case you're wondering. No, I wasn't hungover the day after my last post. It was only six beers, but on an empty stomach. I pretty much ate oatmeal the following day since I'd had nothing else handy to eat.

So it took me about two days of rearranging before I finally got around to baking something in the new oven. First up was the long craved after tater tot casserole. The following evening I made a batch of soft baked chocolate chip cookies, devoured them all, and pretty much got a stomach ache because I ate nothing else. Not smart, I know. Still, it was worth it. The following fare from hereon out will be mostly healthier. I use mostly very loosely. I'm due to get a care package from the sister which will contain a few boxes of Mochiko rice flour. With that I'll get to bake a recipe that was given to us by a childhood friend's mother. 

Nothing is ever 100% the way you need it, so a few upgrades are in order. In addition to the extra burner, oven, and microwave oven my sister is getting me a temp/timer controlled crock pot for my upcoming birthday. With one I'll avoid eating out because I'm too tired to cook when I get home from work. I also need to invest in sink covers along with making a custom cover for the stove top which will resolve my limited counter space issues. And I'll need to install a back splash since none came with. Easy enough to do and I've still got leftover double sided tape from the one I installed in the old trailer.

Damn, I'm hungry now.


in with the new

I'm thoroughly exhausted. Things, thankfully, went much smoother for me today. There were a few mishaps but nothing major. My adopted little sister (a friend/coworker here) Alyssa joined Bridgette and I for the excursion. If I hadn't spoken about her before she's one of the first people I'd met when I volunteered and was instrumental in management even considering me for the dog caregiver position I hold now. When I woke I still had some cleaning to do as well as discovering that I'd neglected to empty one of my cabinets. I scrambled and finished it all before Alyssa arrived. She was even a little late. My faithful (old) home was hitched up and off we went to St George. We arrived at the dealer and things went into warp speed. First came the old trailer unhitch, then the new rig tech walk-thru, and finally the signature fest with the finance guy.I made a quick call to my insurance agent to update things and the final cost came out to $6 above my former cost. They won't bill me for the difference since it's less than $10. At this point the finance officer started trying to sell me some additional coverage which I was pushed back on. He eventually dropped it to their cost and I was still saying no. Alyssa stepped in here and said I should take it based on how great a deal it is, but that I no longer earn what I used to. I can't absorb the cost to replace things based on my current income. The additional coverage lasts for seven years and means I only pay a $50 deductible to replace whatever fails within that time frame. I paid out of pocket to replace quite a few things on my old trailer which wasn't fun. The bottom line is that it added $9 to my monthly which is a small price to pay for peace of mind. So with the final signatures signed my salesman closed the deal by seeing me off. I am a sentimental bitch, so there was a moment with my old trailer before parting ways.

The trailer color scheme even compliments my truck.

If this recap starts getting wonky it's because I'm on my fourth beer on an empty stomach. 

Alyssa and I hit Costco and then Walmart for a shopping resupply of general stuff we needed. We got home around 3pm (mountain time). With a little help from the RV park managers the new home was fully situated in about 30 minutes and I started unpacking. I think I finally finished unpacking at around 9. This time it felt like unpacking took less time than packing. I'm not sure but I'm glad to be mostly done with it all. Since the space is different now I'll probably have to rearrange what I initially did. 

Bridgette was totally weirded out when I left her alone inside during my Walmart run. She remembered being in here from last week, but it wasn't home to her. It wasn't until we were home and I unpacked our stuff that she started to relax. I've got to say that I'm not crazy about her constant need to lay claim to my (ok, our) bed. I'm relieved to no end that we've graduated from a twin to a proper queen sized bed. I averaged at least three mid sleep roll overs onto her per month. She would wake us both with a loud yelp. This should now be a thing of the past. Right now she's completely crashed out on her side of the new dinette

I think I'm on beer #6 now and should've made dinner hours ago. Whatever. Here are a few more pictures of us moved in.


Front to back view

Back to front view

I think I'm on my sixth beer now and the laptop screen is kind of spinning. I think it's time to call it quits since I managed to get dinner cooking in the microwave finally.  I'll eat and watch a little Netflix before turning in for the night. G'night peoples and we'll talk again soon.



... is never fun regardless of how much or little stuff you happen to own. Ever have that impending sense of doom when you had to do something that you didn't really want to do. I procrastinated this morning and what took place later only served me right for delaying instead of just jumping in. I woke up at 8am this morning and goofed off until around 2pm. When I finally started unpacking I discovered stuff I should've gone through and trashed months ago. That took me about two hours of going thru and eliminating what wasn't needed.  Right when I started moving stuff to the storage shed is when the universe reminded me that it has a devious sense of humor. I had managed to pack one storage container when it started raining. Bridgette heard the thunder clap and we both panicked for different reasons. She ran into the corner and trembled while I went into overdrive trying to move as much stuff to the shed as I could. Luckily, for us both, the rain was light and lasted about 20 minutes. 

Here's what my humble little home looks like at the moment. It was much worse earlier. Bridgette is hiding in her bed behind the TV. Despite how messy things look there I am almost finished emptying out my trailer. The last of the heavy lifting will be done when I get the kitchen stuff out.

This probably isn't the best call but I started drinking about an hour ago. So far I've had only one beer, but I have a feeling that it will grow exponentially as the day progresses. I might be in trouble here.


pics of the new home

Bridgette laying claim to the new bed, before I'd decided to buy.

Plenty of storage

A nice window to let in the morning light.

View from the bed/main entrance

Rear Window. I will not let my leg be broken and/or attempt to solve crimes as a result.

My front door

My actual front of house

I've so missed dual sinks

The new fridge, now with more room!

The new microwave. Hopefully the door won't fall off unexpectedly like it did on my last trailer.

One more burner! Now I'm cooking!

And my head doesn't hit the ceiling in this one.

My knees don't hit the tub, and the door isn't angled.

I have a sink and medicine cabinet again!

And one day, I just know it, my beagle will revenge pee on this glorious bed some day.  She's such a little bitch!

View from the back to front.


moving on up

After nearly a year of living in my little haven I had decided that it was time for a change. My neighbors recently traded in their old rig for a nice shiny new one which inspired me to do the same. The notion of upgrading was in my mind shortly after arriving, but my main focus was on getting established then. I'm there now. So it took a few days after their purchase for me to realize that it was time for me to do the same.

I love my rig and where it's taken me, but I've learned a lot more since I've lived in it for near a year now. My intent for it's use had changed drastically. Technically this trailer was lacking in a lot of areas that I was willing to forgo when I thought I would be drifting from town to town. Now that I'm stationary with steady employment I've learned from experience (as well as from my coworkers who also live full time in RV's) that I need more. Much more.

Old Trailer Cons
  • Fresh, Grey, & Black water tanks are too small (10, 18, 9 gallons). The lack of sensors means I kind of have to guess when they fill up and empty (every 4 days'ish).
  • Lack of an oven to satisfy my need for baked foods. I love my casseroles.
  • Overall layout not ideal for my current lifestyle
  • Lack of bathroom sink. I have to wash my dishes all the time if I intend to maintain a decent level of hygiene. Sometimes I'm lazy and don't want to wash the dishes.
  • Bathroom door can't be closed without banging into my knees. The beagle stares at me while I make #2. I guess it's fair since I watch her every day.
  • Two burner stove is not enough. I love to cook and need at least a third burner. 
  • Twin sized bunk beds. I'm tired of rolling over on the beagle only to have her screech out in pain in the middle of the night waking us both up.
  • Lack of a couch
  • Single propane tank, while it lasts a month, means I can't cook until I refill. 
  • Lack of front end stabilizers. The wobbles from walking around or high winds have started to annoy me.
  • Shower stall isn't high enough. I have to crouch in order to take showers. 
  • Fridge & freezer behind single door. Just barely not enough room for my needs.

New Trailer Pros
  • Fresh, Grey, & Black tanks are 52 -42-42 gallons respectively.
  • Oven. Baked foods here I come!
  • Layout is not the best I've seen, but it's a far cry better than what I have now.
  • A bathroom sink as well as a medicine cabinet to boot!
  • Kitchen sink has two wells.
  • Bathroom door can be closed with plenty of room to spare for my legs. The beagle can no longer watch me, if I wish it to be so.
  • Three burners. I can chef my meals up again!
  • One, gloriously huge, queen sized bed so me, the beagle, and whatever dog I adopt in the future can all sleep together without any of us injuring each other in the dead of night.
  • A couch! And it's in the perfect place for me to setup my TV to watch.
  • Dual propane tanks. I'll have the luxury of turning on the 2nd tank and refilling the empty at my leisure.
  • Stabilizers on all four corners. No more wobbles regardless of anything.
  • I can stand in and shower without crouching ever again.
  • Fridge and freezer are separate with more than enough room in both for my needs.
There are a host of other thing that are better with the new trailer that I'm leaving out. I've elected to mention only the things that I've felt have been lacking.

So today, while I was at work, my little girl decided to shit inside our trailer. It's not because I had forgotten to take her out for her morning constitutional break, I did not forget. I took her out and she went. I also didn't get home too late. I arrived on time after work. Nope, the little brat has the innate ability to sense when something is so important that it should not be ruined, but still chooses to do so. And for this I sincerely hate her at those times. I was able to clean it up and also had the obligatory bottle of Nature's Miracle to clean it up. Despite my best efforts I swear that I can still smell that shit smell. This is what really pisses me off. In all due fairness to her, she shat on the removeable area rugs instead of something which I cannot remove from the trailer. Fucking brat!

I digress. This morning I called the dealer and have given the go ahead to process the loan and finalize the sale. I will be picking up my new home on Monday. I wish the sale process could've been much smoother, but it was not. My salesman, while a great and nice guy, is rubbish when it comes to talking numbers and what banks are willing to do. I did modestly suggest that he never speak numbers with his future customers and simply hand the phone over to the finance people instead. Nothing was promised but I have a feeling he'll take the advice to heart.

If nothing sours the deal on Monday, I'll have a much better home to move into.


my takeaway

Life has have seen fit to throw new challenges in life at me. These new ones have been far less physical and far more emotional than past ones. To be frank, the most pressing bits of bad news has taken taken it's worst toll on me. Speaking bluntly, my uncle died very recently. This bit of news was neither shocking nor a surprise. Uncle was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer towards the last few months of 2014. Everyone involved decided to give it the old college try and pursue a proper course of treatment. In the end, it wasn't enough. The cancer was too aggressive and my uncles fate decided well before what the rest of us had hoped for. When his time finally came, it rocked the family. Im honestly not sure where this leaves me. I'm still sorting it out and will follow up with my findings in the next post;

Sorry. I published a touch too soon. My takeaway from recent events is that life is very precious no matter what season we're in. That being stated. I cry much less than I used to, and am ever more thankful than ever before regarding my current lot in life. Who I was and who I am now breaks my heart in a way that most won't ever understand. As many good decisions that I've made, I've equally made some very bad ones. That's life I guess.


visionaries - best friends

This is a PBS documentary show featuring the organization I work for. This isn't the one I was filmed in, but might have been incidentally filmed in. I watched and didn't see myself in it, but I did see a lot of my coworkers. It's well worth the watch and will only take about up about 26 minutes of your time. Enjoy!

annoyingly creepy

This thing has been creeping me out since I arrived here last May. It's supposed to be Mater from the movie Cars, and is in front of the local supermarket which is across from where I'm living. The market never bothers to turn it off so you hear the stupid thing all night long. I almost forgot about it because I was sleeping with my windows closed over the fall and winter. Now that spring is here and things have warmed nicely. I'm starting to crack my window again at night and reliving every creepy nightmare that's getting influenced by it. I'm very tempted to sneak over one night and wire in a receiver so that I can transmit my own version of disturbing Mater'isms. During business hours.


what's all this then

Welcome to the Dogtown
Clinic, what seems to be
the problem?

A few things first before I get on with it. I got to meet a fellow full timer at work recently. She happened to volunteer in my area and thru the course of normal conversation discovered we've many blogger friends in common. I was to meet her for lunch the day before her departure but wound up not being able to make it due to a crisis with a friend/coworker. I never got a chance to let her know what happened much the less exchange contact info. I'm hoping Tony and Karen will do me a kindness and relay my apologies to Miss J.

A failed selfie w/Winter

Picking up where I last left off. I started talking about how happy I've been and how I'm open to the possibility of dating again. I guess that as of recent I've had quite a few revelations. One of them has been this blog. I spent the last week randomly jumping around reading my own stuff and came to the conclusion that it's overall kind of dry. Anyone who's met me in person knows that I'm anything but. At first I kind of couldn't remember why I did that, and then it sort of dawned on me. I wasn't in the greatest headspace at the time I started this. Because of that, dry seemed to be the best choice to chronicle my journey and avoid tainting this with any of the negativity I was feeling at the time. I think I even made a few horrible attempts at failed humor which underscored how I wasn't on top of my game. As you know things did improve for me, but I kind of left my blogging style locked on autopilot. I hope I had a few posts where the real me slipped out making you literally laugh out loud at something I wrote.

A sleeping dog, lying.

Ok. So dating. I feel I'm ready which has got to mean I'm not or that I'm looking to screw up the good streak I've been experiencing. When I started working here I was told that the ratio of men to women was so low that new guys often get pounced on by the women. I even had one of the founders on a tour jokingly ask me if this was true. I replied that "I didn't know what they're talking about". They all laughed, but what I said was true. I wasn't putting it out there at that time. A coworker kind of clued me into this a few months back which explained why they weren't. I had the chance to see the whole pouncing thing happen when they hired a male who was open to it when he started here. One of the girls landed him. I'm on the fence to be honest, and here's why. I'm in a small border town in Utah with roughly 4500 residents. The locals are Mormon, enough said. My employer draws in job seekers from all over the country, most of them being female. A small percentage of them play for the other team, but not as many as the rumors make it out to be. Most are actually straight which widens the pool. Yay. Most are younger than myself, much younger. This doesn't mean I'm exactly ass out. Double entendre unintended. I have this rule of not dating coworkers regardless of them being in the same dept or not. To me having the same CEO = coworkers. I'm at an impasse and will have to relax some personal rules if I'm to find companionship.

If anyone recalls. I'd originally thought I'd be hopping towns like other full timers. Then, dating seemed like an absurd impossibility compared to what I've actually got in front of me now. I guess I can be thankful that the internet is for porn, and it got me through the rough spots. I'm kidding.

What I'm really trying to say is that I have no idea what, or even whom, I'm going to do. In the interim I've got my hobbies to keep me occupied and hope that they will curb my .... needs.


a touch overdue

Sorry about the extended break in posting. We had a break in the weather and I decided to take advantage by living life more and blogging less. We're finally thawing out from two weeks of snowy weather and I realized that I completely skipped the month of February. To be honest my life has literally gone to the dogs.

Ok, so in reality it's not all been about dogs. Now that I'm somewhat established here and am coming along in learning my new trade, I've kind of been thinking of a way to mess it all up. Yup, I'm talking about actually possibly dating again. For the most part I've avoided the possibility of it over the past decade even though I've pontificated then on whether to do so or not. The difference then versus now is that I'm in a place where I've always wanted to be and happy. This isn't me saying I've hated all the places I've been at, so much as I simply am happier in more rural settings. Getting back on track I have met a few distinct prospects. Nothing I'm willing to elaborate on at this time, but I will do so in subsequent posts.

All things being equal I do apologize for the lapse in posts. I had kind of taken to a more pictorial version of story telling via Instagram over the last few months. Anyone wishing to follow me there as well as here need only look up "kneemow" on instagram to find me. I'm listed as private but will add you.