Too hard this time I think. I'm in an odd place at the moment with the reason why being that I'm feeling both loved and battered by the universe. This past week has been filled with some highs and lows. It started with a trip to Page, AZ where on the way a semi kicked up a rock which struck and left a nice crack in my windshield. Luckily I have a low deductible, but I'm still out $100 to replace it. Low.

After more than a year and a half a German Shepherd dog arrived at the sanctuary which (so far) seems to be just what I've been looking in age/health/temperament to adopt. High. The following morning I spoke with a coworker/friend about visiting with the GSD who also happens to know that I've been looking since I started working there. New arrivals have a 24hr cooling down period after arriving to give them a chance to acclimate. The initial separation from their families can be traumatic. I was telling the c/f about how I was looking forward to meeting the GSD later that day and arranging an intro with B if he turned out as good in temperament as I was hoping for. At the time the c/f only indicated that they had already met and nothing else. I learned at lunch that day that the c/f had already informed their family who emailed the department and secured themselves a first in line position to adopt him. LOW! I futilely put in an adoption application for him. Meh. I arrived for my scheduled visit with him, and he was visibly upset and confused. Despite that he was poised, alert, and very calm. I brought some treats which he took very gently from me. Once he felt comfortable with me he began communicating with me. He had walked to the door and looked at me then the door and back. He wanted out. I asked him and he reacted in a positive way to indicate yes. He wanted to go thru the door that lead back into the building rather than out the back door because this was the way he was brought into this place. Our meeting went better than I expected. High. He was already spoken for pending a cat test. He passed it. Low. I gave up and did not return to visit him again. No sense in learning more about what I'll be missing.

A new friend/coworker had finally arrived/moved into town and we were meeting for lunch on my last workweek day. High. Unfortunately that same morning one of our senior kids had passed very quickly and suddenly. LOW!. I canceled on our lunch plans being that I wasn't feeling like I'd be good company. Low. By the time lunch arrived I was feeling a bit better having regained my composure. My friend came to see me at lunch anyway. High! They also treated me to dinner and a drink later that evening. High.

When I got home from work that day I noticed that I had received a few emails from my Mgr and the lead adoption coordinator from that afternoon. Turns out the GSD had failed his dog test and the first adopter had backed out because of. Cautious High! At this point I have lots of questions. Some which were answered via email, but I still have many more to ask. I wasn't aware the GSD had to also pass a dog test. I'm wondering if my c/f had something to do with the family members backing out because of the failed dog test or at the c/f's request? I haven't spoken to the c/f because, to put it frankly, I was furiously hurt and upset beyond reason. I felt betrayed. Be it true or false I haven't cleared this up with them yet because I really needed to decompress and temporarily forget everything on my weekend off. What I need and what I'm doing here isn't lost on me either. I proudly own my crazy.

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