should I stay or should I go

I was ready to leave. I turned in my notice with the RV storage people, purchased the generator, and had everything packed. In that final hour I changed my mind and decided to stay. For how long I'm not sure yet. Nothing about leaving felt good or right to me that day. Mostly because of what's happening with my little sister. Truth be told this decision broke my heart but I knew it was the right one. I was depressed to the point where I sequestered myself in a bedroom for two days and only played Angry Birds. I finished the game. I was so stressed out about everything that that stupid game helped me to take my mind off things and re-center myself. Oddly enough, my sister was the one who consoled me. She was right in reminding me that everything happens for a reason, and to listen to your inner voice when it says something you're about to do is wrong. A few other things also came into play.

The friends I was to meet up with had to cancel for different reasons. We're still planning on meeting up out in the desert for a camping trip though. Something that's overdue, and desperately needed by me. I'm looking forward to getting out there in one of these future weekends, schedules permitting.

Since I had delayed my initial departure by two weeks I had also forgotten about my nephew's birthday. His party was this last Sunday and he turned four. Had I left on the 14th I would've returned the following weekend.

Over the last (almost) two weeks I've been looking at picking up some part time work to replenish the savings a bit. I could try for an IT job which would replenish those savings very quickly, but it's your standard 8-5pm kind of thing. I'm really looking for flexibility with my time and hoping to put it to some good use. My sister suggested that maybe I should enroll in a culinary arts program, or at least take a few cooking courses. I love cooking and it would add another skill towards earning a living while full timing. Not that I wish to make my living this way all the time, it's more of a personal passion. At this point, it's a possibility which I'm entertaining. My sister is helping me look into it since I'm now technically a non state resident.

My eye is still on working with animals. I recently applied for an entry level position with an animal sanctuary. If I got it I would be leaving to live and work there since it's in another state. I know that I stayed because of my sister, but she's doing better now. I'm feeling more comfortable with leaving, but am seeing how things progress week by week. We'll see.


  1. I guess all we can do is follow our heart, or gut instincts. Problem we have is we are not getting any younger.

    1. That we aren't. Life takes you down a different path than the one you sometimes expected.