we are family

I'm not sure where I was, or when, how my view of family changed for the better. I guess it was when I lived out of state and got to see what normal happy family life is supposed to be like. Since returning to mine, that visage has slowly been stripped away and replaced with the cold hard version I grew up with. I still care about each of them a great deal but think it may be time to leave instead of staying and trying to help. I realize people always think and say the grass is always greener in situations like this, but the level of dysfunction here is beyond words. What I'm about to share with you is by no means every thing that's driving me to leave, nor it is the worst of it, it's merely the straw that broke the camels back.

Recently I was frustrated and infuriated over some news my mother delivered. I learned that I am being blamed for something I fought and fight against. Waste! A few months after I arrived (last year) I noticed the amount of waste that goes on in my mother's kitchen. Basically she prepares more food than can be eaten per meal, and (worse yet) has groceries spoil before getting to them in time. This is the source of the misplaced blame. My brother in law (or soon to be ex bro in law/since their separation) has been telling my sister that I'd better not be eating the groceries he's buying. I don't blame him one bit for feeling that way because I would feel and want exactly the same were I in his shoes. Even though he's not living there now, to his credit, still buys the groceries for his family. Mom has been staying with sis since the separation to help her out, and has taken over the cooking while there. The bro in law used to eat the leftovers when he was living there but hasn't since leaving. Mom has started bringing them here now. I've told her that she doesn't need to bring us food, that we're ok but she still does it. So when she told me what my bro in law was upset about I let her have it. My sister has seemingly shut down regarding my inquiry about this. Although I can hardly blame her for not getting back to me with everything on her plate right now. It's extremely disheartening that this is happening at all.

I'm miffed about this situation because I do buy my own groceries to cook and eat. I have been since I arrived here, and still am to this day. Well, unless someone else has been making weekly charges against my debit card at the local supermarket. I also shell out for food as well as various other items for them. I digress. To be honestly fair to my bro in law. I do eat some of the leftovers mother has brought home. I'm also eating what I buy because I'm trying to avoid waste. Here's yet another part of the issue. Dad, mostly, doesn't eat what mom cooks because of his medical issues (type 2 diabetes and gout). His diet is very specific and mom has failed to grasp that (in addition to needing to cook smaller meals) she needs to adjust her recipes based on dad's issues. She hasn't. Dad, as a result, shops and cooks for himself mostly. The worst part of this is the leftovers mom brings here, which I can't finish, go into the trash. I tell her this, but that as well as everything else I've said falls on deaf ears.

The amount of waste (not just food) here is astounding. I work against it and always do my best to give back. When I become the point of blame for something that I personally fight against, something is seriously wrong. This is beyond help and absolutely insane. I've done my best, but seriously think I'm done. 

Eat a dick Sister Sledge!