my dad

 ... is a dick. When I say that I mean it in the worst way possible. I wish I could blame his recent behavior on the Type 2 diabetes he's got, but he's managing it through medicine and a strict diet. I learned from my sister that he accused my mother of having an affair with the Mexican handyman whom she hired to replace the kitchen sink/faucet. She's not, nor has she ever btw. This isn't the first time either. He made the same accusation years ago when she was helping out a nephew who once had a crush on her. He was six when he had said crush, and she is his godmother. Mom, to her credit, has not bothered to tell me about what's transpired since I left.

There is something seriously wrong with my father's thought making paradigm. I picked up on it when I was there a few months ago. He wouldn't go to his scheduled medical exams and would postpone or just  reschedule only to cancel in the end. Instead, he'd sit there and watch his kung fu soap operas endlessly. He even got angry at me once when I asked him why he canceled an appointment, and then started prattling on about where the money would come from to treat him if something was wrong. This was around the same time that my mother had her breast lump scare where he consoled her by saying if she died she'd have nothing to worry about. I've often told my mother to leave him and just move on. She didn't and won't.

I prefer to keep things in a positive light but I can only take so much before I need to unload. I tried to help to the best of my ability during my stay with them, but they're fucking crazy. This goes way beyond my ability or desire to even want to understand why people choose to live their lives in such a shitty way. For a (short) time I felt kind of crappy that my family wouldn't ever make it out to visit me, now I'm glad.

small town livin'

I've come to learn something about many of my coworkers in the short time I've lived here. Many of them don't keep up with the news which I just can't fathom why. Maybe it's me whose choosing to not let what happens in the world go. I'm not sure which yet. I have noticed that many of them lead seemingly happier lives though. This has made me wonder if it's because they choose to purposely not follow what's going on in the world outside here and focus solely on their lives that makes that happiness possible. I don't consider myself to be a miserable person, nor am I excessively happy. Lemme reel it back in before I start pontificating. I haven't found my life here to be any different here than any other place I've lived in before. The only differences I've noticed so far is that it's just a smaller version and with a few less choices when compared to a larger city. In short, it's what I'd expected all along. While I do miss some conveniences of a larger city, I wouldn't dream of trading them for what I've got now. I'm lucky in that I found the perfect place to live and work in for this time in my life.

As for my coworkers. Many of them are very focused with what goes on in the animal rescue world and that some people suck. I am too, but not on the almost evangelical level some of them are on. I'm more focused on learning a new craft and how I can do it to the best of my abilities. Learning to care for the dogs has been fairly easy in of itself, but like any craft there are a million little details that take time and experience to learn. I do think that some people suck when it comes to how they treat their animals, and firmly believe karma will visit them in kind. Since I could care less about fixing bad people, I've instead chosen to save the world by helping to rescue dogs from them.

Dog is my copilot!

a weekend in the life

The me time is paying off and I'm feeling centered, or re-centered. To do that I sequestered myself in the trailer and played a lot of xbox. In fact I xbox'd my brains out, and it felt great! That wasn't all I did though. I had some chores which I took care of along with some shopping (in town & online). The chores were mainly my laundry, wash the dish, and some sweeping. You gotta love living in a small space. It takes all of about 10 minutes to deep clean the place.

I finally picked up a small mirror which puts an end to me missing spots when I'm shaving. Luckily no one really notices it cause of the Asian genes/light hair growth. I also picked up a toilet scrub brush at the dollar store. Not that anything was bad there so much as this just makes cleaning easier. Online, I ordered a small rice cooker and dog hammock for the backseat of my truck. It's not that my job requires me to use my own vehicle to transport dogs, but I have been lately. We have a golf cart assigned to our area that we use for that purpose but it's out for repairs. This was something I meant to get for Bridgette because I'm tired of the extra effort required to remove dog hair from the upholstery. The rice cooker wasn't something I needed to order since I left one behind in storage at the parents house. However, it is older and doesn't have the additional steamer tray that the new one does. I'm sure the cost of shipping the old one here would probably be the same as the new one from Amazon. 

I'm looking forward to winter arriving as it's currently monsoon season here. I love the cool rainy days and am over the hot sunny ones. 

nothing's wrong

This is a me thing. At least that's what I've been telling myself all this time. Every now and then I'll feel like I've worn out my welcome with any and every living thing around me. When this happens I usually sequester myself in my domicile and do whatever will help me feel normal again. Usually (these days) it's me getting in some Xbox time or watching an old show on Netflix from beginning to end. I haven't done either of those since arriving here, which I only now realized has been the longest stretch in-between to date. This is a good overall, but not great since I still need to pull away. I only say this because part of me thinks that it's abnormal to need time away. Now I know this isn't reality, but still can't shake the feeling when it hits. Today is the first weekend day, but somehow the feeling still managed to hit and blanket me. I'm thinking that I'll get done what I need to out in town and the lock myself in while avoiding all calls and texts. Me time!

Despite my mental hindrances, I did manage to have a productive day today. The highlights consisted of my trying out another restaurant for breakfast in town, some quality Ingress game time, and getting Bridgette in for a vet visit. They did a physical examination, a blood draw, and aspirations. The PE showed her to be in great health/weight, I'm waiting on the results of the blood draw still, and her two new lumps turned out to be lipomas (again). The other thing that B had looked at was her teeth. She's low on the totem pole, but is on the list for a cleaning. This and the other stuff is good news to me. I'm on the right track in how I care for and feed her.

I decided to nix the part that used to be here. I had a moment of weakness when I wrote it originally, but I came to my senses. Yes, I still think my beagle's doctor is cute. Let's just leave it at that.

I feel fine.