fml, kind of

I normally avoid writing when I'm pissed off because of what I might say that will most likely hurt me. However I received some news yesterday that completely ruined my day, and I'm throwing caution to the wind. Let me first get you caught up (read hopefully calm down a little) with what's happened over the last week before I get to it. 

Last week I had to put on my nurse maid hat because the beagle developed a case of the runs. On Monday I came home to what I can only describe as a scatological crime scene. Poor thing had a terrified "I did a bad thing" look on her face too. I bathed her, clean up the scene, and then had her checked out. She got a hold of something that didn't agree with her is all that was wrong. She was kind of in bad shape so I spent the next day working from home while I looking after her. We all have our favorite meals when we're sick and she's no different. For the rest of the week I made and fed her boiled/shredded chicken breast mixed in brown rice which was made with the leftover broth. The remainder of the week I took turns with the dog walker checking on her and am happy to report there were no more scenes to clean again. Her issue cleared up by the weekend and she was back to making nuggets. 

Now here's what set me off. My manager informed me during our one on one session yesterday that upper management rescinded her decision which allowed me to work full time from the local office. I will have to resume commuting three hours a day (minimum) back to and from the old office again. The upside is I get to keep working from the local office on Fridays, and she'd see about making it two days a week later on. She also said I coud work the next week at the local office before having to come back. This made her fifty kinds of awesome to me because she also said if it were up to her I could remain where I am at. The downside is I'm back to thriteen hour days again. I don't want to get into the minutia behind the change, but can confirm that it's shit. There is one unrelated bit of good news that I remembered in all of this. I'm above my personal goal of acrued vacation time and close to the ceiling limit where I have to use it or lose it. Looks like I'll be taking some strategically schedule vacation time soon.

This news also comes on the heels of some doubt I've been wrestling with over the last few weeks. Things have been going well for me since a little before my vacation in January. So well, in fact, that I began second guessing whether my plans are right for me at all. I think what touched it off was reading about how some of the other bloggers were ditching the mobile life in favor of the sticks and bricks one. It was then that I started thinking about a mental list of the reasons to stay. I a few months away from paying off my final bill and saving a substantial amount of income every month. I was living in a better city than the one I just left. I've lost count of all the future ex-wives that I've met here. I live minutes away from several fantastic local hikes. I've taken control of and improved my health. I love the vibe at the new office, and the people there are nicer. Things are good again so why change when there's no need to. Right? 

That's when I remembered to simply ask myself why. When I did I realized I was becoming complacent due to how well things have been going, and almost forgotten that this was the very same hole I've spent the last several years clawing my way out of. What my manager told me yesterday was a solid reminder that I need to be focused and all the validation I needed to know I'm on the right course.

This is a picture I took on a trip to New Mexcico a few years ago and is now my desktop wallpaper. Most importantly it's a reminder that there is a better way.