With xmas on the horizon it got me to thinking how much the meaning of it has changed for me, and it wasn't that kind of child to adult kind of change either. The change was so subtle and unnoticeable that it took me years to realize it had happened at all. Best as I can figure it took place around my late twenties early thirties, and it wasn't limited to xmas either. A lot of things that I used to enjoy doing simply lost their meaning with me. Holidays and or social celebrations of any kind of lost their appeal to me. I've never been diagnosed as depressed or suffering from any type of mental disorder so it's not that. I also don't bug out after 10 minutes of being in crowds. Before I give anyone the wrong idea, I do still enjoy being with family and close friends regardless of occasion. I adjust and act accordingly to any given situation. You know, like a real grown up.
I'm not sure if something is wrong with me or not, but I really don't care. Either way I'm looking forward to xmas week despite the lost meaning. I get to work from home which allows me to spend some quality time walking the creek with the beagle.
i hear ya on the meaning, man.
ReplyDeleteI too, strangely, felt the same way. I don't know if it is a child-like wonder for the occasion or what. But I am finding that the meaning for me has changed somewhat. I realized I loved the occasion because I received gifts from people. Nowadays, getting a gift is rare since I am not a gifting type of person myself; I just give things to people regardless of an occasion or not. But anyway, I have been getting back my "meaning" for the holiday by doing the giving to others. Sometimes it's a gift, but most often, it's just the time and effort spent on behalf of those less fortunate.
My high point is a wonderful white elepant gift stealing exchange at a friends place. Most gifts are hand made or thrift store finds.
DeleteI still love to give. I had that unfortunate hiatus due to the unemployment and not living in the same state as family which made it difficult to do so, but I resumed as soon as I could.
DeleteThe holidays suck. I would have joined you for a Christmas walk but didn't see the invite. How about next year, me here and you there or me somewhere else and you who knows where?
ReplyDeleteWell you're kind of not in walking distance which makes it kind of moot. When you and I are in the neighborhood of each other I'd love to though!
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